Being a mama means our lives eating 5-course dinners, going out for sushi with girlfriends, and eating a colorful array of rich and flavorful food are luxuries of the past.
Now, this is my norm.
My everyday reality.
- clean the plate club (a.k.a. eat the remains of our child’s plate)
- unintentional fasting……meaning, skipping meals without realizing it.
- eating cold food.
- and eating nasty foods every stinking day that I never would have handpicked pre-mamahood.
Here are the Top 10 NASTY FOODS that I consume on a regular basis.
10. Granola Bars. Ok, you may be like, “These are awesome. Don’t be a hater.” But, people, these are designed for a snack here and there. I started consuming way too many of these, when I was breastfeeding. You know, the H-ANGRY stage of the day. Like, my baby is taking all of my nutrition, and I don’t have time to eat, because my baby likes to eat every 90 minutes and takes 60 minutes to eat, so granola bar it is. I should have a degree in the education/opinions on all of the bars on the market. Luna. Cliff. Simply Balanced. Kind. Nature Valley. NutriGrain. Trader Joes. We have eaten all of them. I always have a current fave in each phase. I also have literally spent $100 on bars in one grocery store run. Darn you, Target, and your $5 gift cards with the purchase of 3 boxes.
9. Hotdogs. Now don’t get me wrong, I like these…. at a ball game. on the grill layered in fun toppings. But, let’s get real….. boiled. cold. not so much. Why do I eat these???
8. Mac’n Cheese. Again, say we are at Chester’s and I have the Lobster Mac… DELISH. But, at home, Monday through Friday? Barf. I have even fancied mine up with broccoli, irish butter, fresh herbs, cottage cheese (try it, before you judge!), but it is not designed to be consumed five days a week.
7. Freeze Pops. Gross. why do we eat these? It is literally fake flavor on ice. ‘Nuff said.
6. Room Temperature Beverages. Especially…. COFFEE. I don’t even want to admit how many times I will nuke my coffee because I lose it in my house, forget about it, or am distracted. Long are the days of sitting and enjoying a full cup of HOT java.
5. Animal Crackers. Gross. I buy the huge tub at Costco and without fail, eat them every time they are out. These things are freaky shaped, taste like cardboard, and are not good. Yet, I consume 30 in 5 minutes. Embarrassing.
4. Soggy Cereal. Do I need to explain? There is nothing good about this. The texture, the flavor. It is the worst.
3. Food on the floor. Popcorn. Chips. Crackers. etc. It’s always “Why throw it when I could pop it in my mouth?”
2. Licking melted, messy, dripping ice cream off the SOGGY cones. My kids just can’t get it together and learn the technique of maintaining their ice cream and not dripping it everywhere. So here I am, licking the kid-on-steroids flavors. Cookie Monster. Birthday cake. Nerds. Bubble gum. ICK.
1. The Number one nasty food that I consume, that needs to stop is…….. OLD OATMEAL. Seriously, this stuff blows. You know what I am talking about: when you lift up the spoon from the bowl, the entire oatmeal is attached to the spoon in one huge, dried up, hard, flavorless, cold blob. I just can’t waste it. The 50 cents I just spent on the organic packet from Traders cannot go to waste. I may as well let it sit out for two more days to turn into a granola bar.
Do you have any that I forgot on the list?
Mom life is classy and glamourous.