Several of our contributors have opened their families and their hearts to adoption. It has been such a beautiful thing for the Rochester MN Moms Blog family to witness. As November is National Adoption Awareness month, Nicole chose to share a part of her family’s story.
The American “ideal”
At first glance, our family already “had it all”, and we were certainly blessed! A nice home, good jobs, great marriage, and the quintessential American ideal of two children, a boy and a girl. Though we had decided not to have more biological children, we had talked about “someday” adopting. We didn’t know when “someday” was, and honestly we didn’t think about it very often. We subscribed to some newsletters and would infrequently look at child photolistings, but mostly, life went on in a semi-selfish way. Our kids were over 6, so they could do magical things like pour their own cereal and go to the bathroom unattended. They showered and brushed their teeth and could even be dropped off for an hour at soccer or hockey. In our society, this is the dream, right?
But one day, an e-mail with more child photolistings came.
In the email was a picture of a boy, smiling, with his hands in his pockets. There was something about him. Some may call it a sign or a calling, I’m not sure I will ever know why, except that God knew we were meant to be together. As we explored our steps forward, we talked with our biological kids, and they were thrilled at the idea of growing our family. However, our decision to adopt caught some people off guard. We hadn’t struggled to conceive, so why were we considering this? To some of our family and friends, more children seemed: unnecessary, expensive, burdensome…excessive. We had health, and of course all of the THINGS. What if having more children meant we could have fewer THINGS?
Our adoption was international, and when we began we were told it would take six to nine months because our son was “older” (over 3), and he was a waiting child, so pursuing his referral meant a faster process. Unfortunately, his home country put a halt on children with completed adoptions leaving the country to join their families, so our six to nine-month process became almost 3 years. During that time, our adoption was finalized, we all traveled to meet him, and we eventually got to Skype weekly. Our hearts were heavy, and our faith was tested during these many, many long months.
The struggle was worth it.
Our son has had our last name for 2 1/2 years and has been home just short of a year. In that time, we’ve realized just how worth it our struggle was. Just how worth it the time, tears, paperwork, and money were. We’ve realized we have so much love to give, and how very, very many kids are without families. So…here we go again. We have gone through the necessary training and filled out the first mountain of paperwork…because family, is our greatest gift. The kids want a little sister, but really we are open to almost anything, including a sibling group. We will rely on faith and see where the path leads. Adoption has changed us ALL, in all of the best ways, and the best is yet to come!
Is adoption or foster care right for you? Do you have questions about domestic infant, international, and foster care adoption? Adoption is for singles, families, and parents of a wide age range and diverse socioeconomic status. Grants and tax credits are available to those who qualify.
Check out these links for more information: